- SPRCSS at Black Cat tomorrow night. #
- Some confusion about whether I can be killed by a stake through the heart…(no). #
- Some confusion about whether I can be killed by a direct head shot…(no). #
- Some confusion about whether I can be killed by silver bullets…(no). #
- Just watched Gus V. Sant's "Last Days." Time for the heroin binge and shotgun appreciation session… #
- Jamie Foxx has been drivin' too much lately. I don't know why he won't take the subway…ego, I guess… #
- Playing solo guitar jamz at Comet Ping Pong 2moro night with two French bands, Peru Peru and Luminocolour. Come by if'n u want. #
- New song. http://bit.ly/1vHYK2 #
- Gotta ask or tell to avoid another Iraq tour… #
- Hated…http://bit.ly/47Msxx #
- Just gargled with Listerine for a full 4 minutes! Personal record. You know it's working when it really hurts…. #
- Need a new Native American name…"He Who Makes Sarcastic Comments and Hangs Out with Total Douchebags" isn't cutting it… #
- Saw Jennifer Lynch's "The Surveillance" last night starring Bill Pullman and Julia Ormand. Don't bother watchin, Pullman, Ormand = killers. #
- Just ate six donuts, but not going to purge. I want to hold on to these donuts, every sugary calorie… #
- Ah, Season Two of Mad Men…just in time for my long-delayed circumcision… #
- About to toast a bagel for Ron Paul. I think he likes his bagels dry, free from peanut butter intervention… #
- Feels like Roger Waters and David Gilmour are arguing about the future of Pink Floyd in my stomach…. #
- A kind of kitty litter taste in my mouth today, just like after a cat orgy… #
- Edie Sedgwick tonight at Black Cat, come if ya want. #
- Some shit I wrote. http://bit.ly/2Ir2g #
- Can't tell if this fake fire is fake, fake fire or real fake fire. #
- Manson all riled up. Won't stop trying to tattoo a swastika on to my forehead. Gotta convince him to do the Rolling Stones lips instead… #
- Watchin' "Defiance" starring James Bond and Liev Scribner or however you spell his name. This Jewz is killun' sum Naziz…. #
- Dear AMC: You can air "Iron Eagle," but I don't have to watch it. #
- English dudes getting uppity. Fuck u McCartney, Jude Law, Daniel Day-Lewis, etc. Dudes we housed you in 1776 and saved yr ass in 1944… #
- Oasis – the "Family Feud" of Beatles cover bands. #
- I can't believe the news today…but I can't close my eyes and make it go away!…and the news is…I'm throwing up… #
- "Funny People" – kind of the lime flavor in the Judd Apatow Life Saver roll. #
- Just sitting down to watch Rudy…with a huge, absolutely huge hardon. #
- A lot of proletarians around today. I'm not sure who these people are or what they think they are doing…but, my God, the stench… #
- Just took Jennifer Aniston's name in vain. Penance: 3 Holy Marys…and watch Marley & Me… #
- Airplane 2 is weird because in the denouement all the characters walk on the moon without spacesuits. #
- Consider @AmandaFrye58: "My fantasy is for you to rip off my pants and bend me over…" Baby, I don't know ya, but maybe I oughta…. #
- Some suspect Twitter followers – sexy in a professional way, ya know? Like they practice the world's oldest profession, ya know? Pros. Ho's. #
- August, sticky, balmy, and sweet, just like the space between the Olsen twins………………………………big toes…………… #
- I'm at the end of this. http://www.rockfeedback.com/tv #
- Caught another urinary tract infection from Christian Bale. It's resistant to antibotics, but not Method actors portraying antibiotics… #
- So many followers, but what I need is a leader…maybe Sarah Jessica Parker…or that guy who played Tackleberry in Police Academy… #
- Matt Damon and I just got exiled to North Korea. Damn, no Dunkin' Donuts here…only maggoty rice… #
- Saw "The Hurt Locker" last night with Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, and Anthony Michael Hall. Too busy mourning J. Hughes to care about Iraq. #
- Seeing a movie tonight, and Sandra Bullock's "The Proposal" is on the list of possibilities. Can't forget my Dramamine…. #
- Matthew McConaughey forcing me to take bong hits while reciting the alphabet backwards. Oh no…he's getting out the bongos… #
- Christian Bale's corpse hosting a BBQ tonight, but I'm trying to get out of it because I don't like corpse-BBQs. #
- MJ Madnessss http://bit.ly/KyOC7 #
- Points on Pitchfork http://bit.ly/tPqXm #
- http://bit.ly/tPqXm #
- http://vimeo.com/5898277 #
- Too tired to play canasta with the ghosts of the Cocoon cast. #
- SPRCSS plays tonight @ Red Lounge
2013 14th Street NW
Washington, DC
9pm-2am w/ Hume, Foul Swoops, and Buildings. Come by…. # - James Taylor won't shut up about all the groupies he banged last night. #
- It's been a Thai massage parlour free summer. Gonna change that right now… #
- Riding the Sybian with my good friend Arlo Guthrie. #
- Who let the dogs out? And by "dogs," I mean "Jermaine Jacksons." #
- Way too much Jermaine in this MJ biography. #
- "All you jailbirds, twittering your days away until you bust outta this joint." #
- What's a little genocide between friends? #
- Reading 700+ page MJ bio. Turns out Harry Potter mercilessly made fun of MJ on chitlin' circuit for being a Muggle. Four-eyed bastard! #
- Up all night making Glenn Branca sandwiches with Sonic Youth. Turns out they are Glenn Brancatarians…. #
- "Where the wild things are" – in my pants, bee-yatches. #
- Plotting a one-night stand with the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man 'cause I like to fuck white guys. #
- Gotta clear this Oompa Loompa sample or Willie Wonka's gonna shrink me Mike TV style. #
- There go the Olsen twins, denying the Holocaust again. Soooooooo tedious. #
- Ben Affleck dead-set on EQing that snare drum again – poorly. #
- Sandra Bullock poisoned cafeteria's lentil soup with huge dose of sassy cuteness. Too bad it's 2009 and the poison is no longer effective. #
- Training the dog not to bark at the mailman with treats fashioned from Hillary Clinton's guts. #
- Toilet humor cheap, degrading way to get a laugh. Oh shit, Owen Wilson just farted! #
- No cell phone reception while camping in the leathery crack of Keith Richards' ass. #
- http://bit.ly/gzVtM #
- Barking dog not racist – just thinks all black guys are mailmen. #
- Burning Angel blowjobs – as long as "There Will Be Blood." Real blowjobs – as long as the funny part of an episode of "Two and a Half Men." #
- Burning Angel blowjobs – as long as the Beatles' "Abbey Road." Real blowjobs – as long as Minor Threat's "I Don't Wanna Hear It." #
- Real blowjobs – as long as Edgar Allen Poe's "Telltale Heart." Burning Angel blowjobs – as long as "War and Peace." #
- Burning Angel blowjobs – way longer than actual blowjobs. #
- No promotion if I don't give my dog's cell phone number to my supervisor. Pimp out my pooch, further my career? Fucking sexual harrassment. #
- Had to shave my moustache after employer pointed out she has identical moustache. Bastards always finding a new way to keep you down. #
- I DO wanna be buried in a Pet Sematary because I DO wanna live me life again, but this time as a homicidal maniac. #
- POV porn too realistic to be fun, but Don Herbert is looking pretty sexy on these old Nickelodeon Mr. Wizard VHS tapes… #
- Eco-friendly vampires sporting bike helmets and Whl Fds reusable bags laying siege to my house ready to suck my blood and compost my bones. #
- Vince Vaughn making me smell his fingers to prove he got lucky last night. #
- Distracted while viewing Daniel Day-Lewis classic "My Beautiful Laundrette" by the sneaking suspicion that it's not very good. #
- Trying to watch "My Beatiful Laundrette" but Al Pacino keeps ruining it by imitating Daniel Day-Lewis with a mouth full of Starburst. #
- Moving through life like a Spike Lee dolly shot. #
- Just starting digging up Alanis Morrissette's corpse. She's here to remind me of the mess she left when she went away. #
- Ichabod Crane just thought of a really good band name: "The Headless Horsemen." #
- Ben Affleck and I just ordered the panda bear sushi here at Nobu in Vegas. Exquisite! #
- Tryin 2 play poker w Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast but my human hands can't hold the animated cards. #
- Janet Jackson enjoying status as most famous living Jackson while destroying a basket of sweet potato fries. #
- Anthony Kiedis denying participation in Blood Sugar Sex Magik as we get stopped by lady cop in our automobile. #
- Off to Atlantic City to play craps with dice fashioned from Matt Damon's bones. #
- Watching MJ memorial with David Schwimmer, who's drunk on pig's blood, whining that his memorial will be smaller even tho "Friends is huge." #
- Androgynous bus rider not able to pull off Bowie thing while eating chicken wings. #
- Dana Carvey in Clean Slate just doesn't seem that funny right now. #
- Eating water ice with Christian Bale. But why did he order Birthday Cake flavor? Birthday Cake sux. #
- Woke up early to pimp myself out to pay for Dee Dee Ramones parking tickets. It's a cold world. #
- Can't sleep. John Adams and George Clooney setting off firecrackers below my bedroom window. Gonna throw Kevin Spacey at them… #
- Helen Hunt, I'm not sure if we know each other well enough for me to carry your alien child. #
- Me and Paul Rudd, two sensitive guys frying up chicken liver after setting the cat on fire. #
- Every time Tortoise drummer plays an elaborate fill, precious seconds of life are stolen from me. #
- Just started using Method acting to prepare for my future role as a Method actor. #
- So relieved Karl Malden died. I've been wondering when he was going to die for years, and now I know. #
- http://bit.ly/BpRiH #
- Elliott Smith to MJ: I was having heart trouble too! #
- Prince William installing my washer/dryer right now, can't return to England because he d/n have his green card yet. #
- What savage beasts of the field aren't crying when Tevye shuns Chava in Act II of Fiddler on the Roof? #
- S Process in DC tomorrow at Comet at 10. Edie Sedgwick tomorrow at Civilian Arts at 12. #
- John Adams died. Fudge! #
- John Adams, don't die on me! #
- John Adams, please don't die of influenza before you can save America. #
- Edie v. Shelby http://bit.ly/BgjZ2 #
- http://www.allournoise.com/ #
- http://vimeo.com/5292072 #
- Francis Ford Coppola fought the battle of Jericho. #
- Cat Supreme Court won't validate this Dog Election. #
- Do you believe in the power of lerv? #
- Johnny Knoxville, don't die on me. #
- Why won't Steve Guttenberg speak out about Iran? #
- Smells like Sandra Bullock's dream died in here. #
- Smells like Josh Hartnett died and went to heaven. #
- Lovin' the awkward small talk in the waiting room of George Clooney's psychiatric practice. #
- Just getting used to this new pair of claws. #
- Marisa Tomei's asphyxiation fetish literally taking my breath away. #
- Sandra Bullock- REALLY bossy today. #
- Burning my bra in solidarity w/ Casey Affleck's "no bras" campaign. #
- Eric Stoltz, don't die on me! #
- In bed, hiding from the glare of the Jamiroquai sun. #
- Thomas Jefferson v. John Adams in a steel cage match featuring Rowdy Roddy Piper. #
Tags: Edie's Tweeties